Reflections on another anniversary

God fills to overflowing

Having gone through another anniversary of Ember’s death this weekend, here are some thoughts on the ways God brings comfort:

First of all, I’m thankful that the weekend wasn’t that emotionally hard. I sometimes feel like on these hard anniversaries that people are praying for us, and we’re ready for it, and it’s not a big deal. But sometimes about a week or so before the anniversary we are feeling sad and overwhelmed with life and need to stop and recognize that this particular time of year is playing a part in that. Grief is a strange thing.

At church on Sunday there was a baby baptism. This family had shared publicly just a few years ago that they had been struggling with infertility for several years and God did not seem to be giving them children and they were wrestling with that in their faith and marriage. Yet Sunday’s baptism was not of their first, nor even second, but their third child! And as they stood up front with their hands full and overflowing with a baby and two squirming toddlers, I couldn’t help but marvel at God’s bountiful provision. And I feel that same provision in our life. At the time of Ember’s death we had five older children who certainly keep our hands full. But the Lord overflowed our bounty by providing another child, and since then a grandchild (Lord willing, there will be several more of those to come in future years), so that our cup is running over. While there will always be a loss felt with Willow and Ember, we cannot say that we feel empty. 

Speaking of those children, our three oldest children are all serving in Christian ministry this summer. This takes our delight to the next stage, not simply having children, but seeing them follow after the Lord and give their energy in serving him. After Ember died and we’d gone through several years of trials, one of our prayers was that our children would not turn away from the faith, but walk closer to the Lord. We praise God to see that come to fruition. 

Finally on this weekend, an unexpected note of encouragement. I made my book free on Kindle for the weekend (if you’re reading this on July 1, today is your last day to pick it up for free). There were nearly 200 orders of the book! Since most of my friends and family have already picked it up, I don’t know who (or what) these 200 people are. Perhaps it’s shown up on some list somewhere. It did move to #1 on Kindle’s Free list for “Christian Death & Grief Counseling”. I pray that there are real people who are really reading the book and also moving closer to God through our story. If you are one of them, I’d love if you dropped me a line!

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Job said that, and remember that at the end of the book, the Lord gave some more. Life is still hard, but the Lord continues to give.