For those thinking about buying and reading the book, I wanted to provide a little more background on it.
This is Part 3: Why is the book coming out now?
See Part 2 here (Should I read this book? I’m not (or I am) currently grieving?)
See Part 1 here (What’s in the book?)
It’s been nearly five years since Ember passed away, why is the book being published now? To be clear, it’s not because I just wrote it, in fact, I actually wrote the first draft of the book in the six months or so after Ember died, which is where the narrative of the book finishes; it does not cover life in these intervening years.There are several logistical explanations. I finished that first draft in early 2020, which you may recall was a time when the whole world went into a headspin. And for us, we also found ourselves with an unexpected, but very joyous, pregnancy, and suddenly finishing and publishing the book was a low priority.
Speaking of priorities: I have a full-time job, which is not as a writer (unless you count writing technical requirements documents as being a “writer”); I have five living children in addition to the little blessing who came in 2020; I’ve sort of overcommitted myself with volunteer ministry opportunities, especially as cross-country coach each fall… in short, I’m busy. I kind of considered this book a pet project that I’d try to get back to when I had time.
But I wanted to do a respectable job with it, so I had friends read it and passed it on to someone to edit (thanks, Liz!), and then updated it and passed it around again, and all of that took time. I decided to put some effort into seeing if I could find a publisher, so I sent the manuscript off to several publishers and a clearinghouse, and waited for responses, but didn’t get any serious bites.
Last year (spring 2023) I taught a Sunday School class on suffering and I had the church office print off several copies of the manuscript for those in the class. Those who read the book were very encouraging to me and I realized that I just needed to self-publish and get the book out there. So I got ready to do that last summer, but then cross-country season hit again, and then I thought, well I should at least get a website (and since this is new to me, getting a website and an e-mail list and all that took longer than I thought)… and here we are.
That’s the logistical answer. When I think of things from a spiritual perspective, I’m thankful to be going through this process now, when I’m in a better emotional state than I was a few years ago. Sometimes it’s strange thinking about where our lives have gone. In the aftermath of a loss we pray so hard for comfort and God’s blessing and hopes to be restored, and I have to say that in so many ways God has answered those prayers. Our daughter born in 2020 and our granddaughter born in 2023 bring so much joy and happiness to our lives, that it makes it easy to push the sadness away for a while. We also prayed for our children and that God would use the experiences for good in their lives, and when I look at how they’re doing, and how the oldest ones are already pursuing ministry opportunities of their own, I see that God has answered those prayers too. On the flip side, with the passage of time we also see just how hard those times were and see the long-term consequences of both the grief and the trauma that led up to it. We appreciate that it’s still just painful to work through those times in our minds. But overall, we are thankful for the healing and it feels like the time is right.
I pray that this story is helpful to people. And if in giving help I need to recount those painful times, I’m willing to do that. God is greater than our suffering.
Only two days until release!
